Not the best week

Well, I haven't been having the best week so far. I know I have a lot going on in my life right now that is stressfull and not fun to deal with, but for some reason working out this week has been particularly hard. I usually use my running to work off some of the stress but it isn't working. I feel particularly bad tonight. I was tired and my legs were sore and my trainer kept making me do these insane things with the ball. I don't think I have ever whined and bitched so much in 30 minutes. I actually at one point kicked the ball across the room and said I didn't want to do that anymore. I honestly wanted to cry, and I did, but I waited until I got home. I think this is all taking a toll on me. I actually told my hubby last night that I didn't want to work out anymore. His response "don't be silly, you LOVE working out". But, I don't. I just do it because I have to. And I think the combination of upping my workout time and still limiting my calories is making me extra crabby. I know I'll get through it and be fine, but it sucks right now.

On a different note, I have been asked by several people, especially people who do workout classes with me, where do I get all my energy from. My answer...I have no idea. I have the attitude that when I go to workout it is only 30-45 minutes, and no matter how tired I am at the time, I can just suck it up and do a good workout. I usually just give it my all knowing that after that 45 minutes is done I can go home and lay on the couch for the rest of the night. I definately do have my off days, but most days I can get through any workout pretty easily. Also, I am in very good cardio shape, which may make me appear to have a ton of energy where, really, it just takes a lot more to challenge my body then the average person. (this is why I have been torturing myself by doing intervals).

I actually feel a bit better now that I got some of this out. I think I need to apologize to my trainer for being such a brat tonight...

And just for fun, I wrote this poem the other day just for my trainer, I think he appreciated it :P

Intervals suck,
They make me want to die;
Intervals suck,
They make me want to cry;
Intervals suck,
I really can not lie;
Intervals suck,
I’d rather stick a fork in my eye.

Struggles

I have had a lot of struggles over the last year and a half. My biggest struggle is with food. When I first started I said that I wasn't going to change how I ate at all. A few months later I made the switch from regular soda to diet soda, and shortly after that I became really conscious of what I ate. I have learned that nutrition is also a big part of weight loss and you can only get so far with exercise itself.

About 2 months ago my trainer put me on a 900 calorie a day diet. I gave it my best shot and was starving for the first week, then after that my body got used to it and I wasn't starving anymore. But it was really hard to stick to and I know I went over 900 calories pretty often, but even if I did go over I was still not eating a lot, so I was still losing weight. It helped me to lose the 5lbs I had put back on plus a few more and now I have been hovering just below my original goal weight for the last month.

I have recently given up on the 900 calories diet. It is just way too hard and I enjoy food way too much to limit myself that much. Now I need to find a happy medium. This whole week has been bad for me, I have been eating everything in sight! I am working on a way to motivate myself to get me back on track. I am more into my workouts then ever, but that is because I have been feeling guilty about what I have been eating. I'll get back on track eventually.